


100 Things Team JNPR Is Forbidden From Doing AT Beacon Academy

by Bookworm16



Series: 100 Things the Students of Beacon Academy are FORBIDDEN from doing [2]
Category: RWBY
Genre: (for now) - Freeform, Canon Compliant, Humor, Story told by way of lists
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:29:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21612271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookworm16/pseuds/Bookworm16
Summary: Surprisingly three-fourths of Team JNPR was not unused to being woken up by very loud noises. Usually, because Nora had found the new hiding place of the syrup and they would have to tell the cooks that they needed a better hiding place. Again. But this time, when Ren, Jaune, and Pyrrha woke up to Nora's excited screams, there was no syrup in sight. Instead, she was waving around a piece of paper that was identical to the ones plastered around their room.
Series: 100 Things the Students of Beacon Academy are FORBIDDEN from doing [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1553074
Comments: 12
Kudos: 29





	1. Jaune

Surprisingly three-fourths of Team JNPR was not unused to being woken up by very loud noises. Usually, because Nora had found the new hiding place of the syrup and they would have to tell the cooks that they needed a better hiding place. Again. But this time, when Ren, Jaune, and Pyrrha woke up to Nora's excited screams, there was no syrup in sight. Instead, she was waving around a piece of paper that was identical to the ones plastered around their room.

"Nora?" Ren asked.

"It wasn't me! I woke up to eat an early breakfast, and maybe find some syrup, and they were all just here!" Nora defended, "Though I guess I could have done this in my sleep, but I don't think I did because I would _never_ make a list like this! Of course, I guess it is entirely possible that someone got me to make this in my sleep... Ren, is it possible for me to do something like this?"

"Uh, what is it, Nora?" Jaune asked, trying to follow all of her ramble.

"Oh! Right! It's a list!"

"What kind of list Nora?" Pyrrha asked kindly, trying not to laugh.

"100 Things Team JNPR Is Forbidden From Doing AT Beacon Academy!" She answered excitedly. "I can't wait to read it!" Nora bounced excitedly over to Ren's side and landed next to him.

Jaune checked his scroll for the time. "Well, since it's 4:30 we have some time." he said tiredly, already wishing he was still asleep.

"GREAT! 'Cause the first part is about you!" Nora said.

"Woo." Jaune added, much less enthusiastically.

**1\. Jaune is not to be left alone with his weapon.**

You are not yet proficient enough Mr. Ark. At the current moment, you propose only a danger to yourself and your team. Having said that, we do expect you to continue your training with Ms. Nikos.

**2\. Jaune is not allowed to be left alone with anyone on Team CRDL.**

_Pyrrha didn't even pretend to look disappointed for her leader, "Good. You don't need to be around them at all."_

_Jaune shrugged, "I know, but it's still kinda weird that that is rule number two."_

**3\. Jaune is not allowed to enter the kitchen unless he is helping Ren.**

**4\. Jaune is not allowed onto an airship without a barf bag present.**

_"Oh come on!" Jaune whined._

**5\. Jaune is not allowed to forge any more official documents.**

Yes. We know about that. No. You will not be expelled. For some unfathomable reason, the Headmaster believes you are capable.

**6\. Jaune is no longer allowed to collect sap.**

If you cannot stop yourself from throwing it at other students, you are not allowed to collect it.

**7\. Jaune is no longer allowed to make bets that end with, "-then I'll wear a dress."**

_Jaune blushed, "They say that like it's a normal thing!"_

_"Isn't it though." Nora said._

_"NO!"_

_"For what it is worth, Jaune, you rocked that dress."_

_Jaune sighed, "Thanks, Ren."_

_"Did wearing that dress make you uncomfortable Jaune?" Pyrrha asked._

_"I've lived with eight sisters that liked to use me as a dress-up doll. Very few things make me uncomfortable."_

**8\. Jaune is not allowed to leave his homemade poetry book lying around the school.**

We try to discourage bullying here. Please do not make our jobs harder.

**9\. Jaune is not allowed to gamble.**

**10\. Jaune is not allowed to dye his hair.**

**11\. Jaune is not allowed to try and beat Ruby/Nora in an eating contest.**

Just stop. You lose every time. The nurses have also asked me to include that if they have to mop up the contents of your stomach one more time before you are a third year, _they_ will fight you.

**12\. Jaune is not allowed to leave his scroll unattended when it _has no password._**

_"I could help you set up a password if you like." Pyrrha offered._

**13\. Jaune is not allowed to try and bluff his way out of a situation.**

It just hurts to watch.

**14\. Jaune is not allowed to use pick up lines.**

~~Unless it's with miss Nikos.~~

"Can anyone tell what that says? It's too crossed out for me to read." Jaune asks. Ren and Nora, wisely, say nothing.

**15\. Jaune is not allowed to rely on others for his landing strategy.**

Relying on Miss Nikos to catch you is not a valid landing strategy. Please develop your own.

"Well! Now that I've been thoroughly insulted, let's move on shall we?" Jaune said quickly, trying to move past the last item on his list.


	2. Nora

"YAY!" Nora laughs as she grabs an extra paper to read off of. "Let's see. Where should I start?"

Jaune and Pyrrha repressed a shudder of fear.

**16\. NORA VALKYRIE IS NOT ALLOWED TO CONSUME CAFFEINE!**

We do not have the budget, or the mental stability, to handle a caffeinated Ms. Valkrie. The damages to the school alone would bankrupt us.

**17\. Nora is _not_ allowed in the kitchen.**

**18\. Nora is not allowed near unsupervised Dust.**

No.

_"No," Ren added for emphasis at Nora's puppy dog eyes._

**19\. Nora is not allowed sugar after 9 p.m.**

**20\. Nora is not allowed TO BREAK OTHER STUDENTS LEGS.**

I don't care how effective a deterrent it might be. NO.

**21\. Nora is not allowed to know where the syrup is kept.**

_"What's wrong with a little syrup?" Nora questioned._

_Jaune sweatdropped, "Nora that wasn't a little syrup. That was the school's entire supply."_

**22\. Nora is not allowed to challenge Ms. Rose to an eating contest.**

The chefs insist.

**23\. Nora is not allowed to start food fights.**

**24\. NORA IS NEVER ALLOWED IN THE KITCHEN AGAIN!**

**25\. Nora is not allowed to ADOPT A GRIMM!?**

WHY DO WE EVEN NEED TO SAY THIS!? HOW WOULD YOU EVEN ACCOMPLISH THIS?!

_Nora pouted and looked sadly towards the cage she kept in the closet where a young Sphinx was trying to escape. The rest of her team breathed a sigh of relief._

**26\. Nora is not allowed to stand outside the school gates and welcome Vytal Festival transfers with, "WELCOME TO MY CASTLE! I AM YOUR NEW QUEEN! PREPARE TO FIGHT!"**

**27\. Miss Valkyrie is not allowed to fight incoming Vytal Festival transfers within minutes of their arrival!**

At least let them unpack first!

**28\. Nora is not allowed outside during a thunderstorm.**

We have received many concerned comments from passers-by that say you were seen being struck by lightning.

**29\. Nora is not allowed to instigate a four on one fight between herself and Team CRDL outside of specified class activities.**

_Nora nodded to herself, "Got it." Then she looked up at Pyrrha, "Wanna fight Team CRDL with me?"_

_Pyrrha laughed, "Yes."_

**30. ~~Nora Valkyrie is not allowed to fight Team CRDL _EVER!_~~**

After extreme consideration, the staff and student body have elected to remove this rule.

**31\. Nora is not allowed in the library.**

**32\. Nora is not allowed to lock Headmaster Ozpin out of his office and proceed to sing, "I'M QUEEN OF THE CASTLE!" over the intercom.**

EVER.

_"I didn't lock him out." Nora said, "I barricaded the door!"_

_"That doesn't help your case, Nora."_

**33\. Nora is not allowed more than three cookies a day.**

**34\. Nora is not allowed to dare other students to attack her with lightning dust and then pretend to be electrocuted!**

We've had to send seven to therapy because of this!

**35\. Nora is not allowed to smash through school property.**

**36\. Nora is not allowed on the top of buildings taller than two stories.**

**37\. Ms. Valkyrie is not to be partnered with Ms. Rose without a reasonable third member.**

NOT Ms. Xaio Long!  


_Nora pouted._

**38\. Nora is not allowed to start a food war.**

_Nora laughed, "They school was divided for weeks~"_

**39\. Nora is not allowed to stick eating utensils into light sockets!**

I don't care if you can't be electrocuted! STOP!

**40\. Nora is not allowed anywhere unsupervised.**

Professor Branwen will _not_ be considered supervision in this case.

"I wonder why they don't want Ruby's uncle to supervise me?" Nora wondered. Ren shuddered to think of what would happen. He'd heard the stories.

"I believe it is time for my portion of the list." Pyrrha stated, somewhat hesitantly.


	3. Pyrrha

"Are you sure about this? We could always leave it for tomorrow." Jaune offered.

"I think it would be best to finish this before we have time to overanalyze what is on it."

**41\. Pyrrha is not allowed to catch Jaune every time he falls.**

Miss Nikos, we understand that you only wish to help. But he really needs to develop this on his own.

**42\. Pyrrha is not allowed near the kitchen's electrical equipment.**

**43\. Pyrrha is not allowed to intentionally hold back when using her semblance.**

When training your semblance Miss Nikos it is important to know its' limitations. Being able to take your semblance to its extreme may well save your life someday.

**44\. Pyrrha is not to hide other students' weapons ON THE CEILING.**

Do you realize how long it took us to get them down?!

**45\. Ms. Nikos is not allowed to help Team RWBY sneak off the school grounds by distracting the teachers.**

Why is it so hard for all of you to just stay in your dorms!?

**46\. Outside of class sanctioned practice bouts, Pyrrha Nikos is not allowed to fight any member of Team CRDL.**

**47\. It is highly recommended that Pyrrha not greet any incoming students here for the Vytal Festival.**

Ms. Nikos, we realize you are only trying to be friendly, but several requested transfers back to their original schools the moment they saw you.

**48\. Pyrrha is not allowed to enable Miss Rose's sugar addiction.**

**49\. Pyrrha is not allowed to mime the answers to her teammates during class.**

Every teacher can see you and all of your teammates are awful at charades.

**50\. Miss Nikos is not allowed to help Nora with any of her schemes.**

_"They didn't say anything about plots though!" Nora sang happily._

**51\. OR PLOTS!**

_"Darn!"_

**52\. Pyrrha is not allowed to fight one Penny Polendina.**

Ms. Rose insisted on this for some reason.

**53\. Pyrrha is not allowed to help Professor Port capture more Grimm for his lessons.**

We are _trying_ to minimize casualties. Not double them.

**54\. Miss Nikos is not allowed to work under Professor Branwen for any reason.**

_ **Aaaaawwwwweeeeee come on Goodwitch. I could teach her plenty.** _

That is what the school board is afraid of.

**55\. Pyrrha is not allowed to swear vengeance on the parents of her friends.**

_"Tell me Weiss's father isn't asking for it." Pyrrha said, for once actually angry._

**56\. Pyrrha is not allowed to sneak off of school grounds to try and act on said vengeance.**

_"One time!" Pyrrha huffed._

_"Yeah this month." Nora added jokingly._

**57\. Pyrrha is not allowed to help Miss Schnee start a student rebellion in order to overthrow Professor Port.**

**58\. Pyrrha is not allowed to confront crazy supervillains. BY. HER. SELF.**

Do students these days just have an aversion to back up for some reason?!

**59\. Miss Nikos is not allowed to challenge students who anger her to DUELS TO THE DEATH.**

I don't care how awful Cardin is you are not allowed to kill him!

**60\. Miss Nikos is not allowed to throw Milo at Team CRDL and pin them by their shirts.**

We are sending you all the group therapy.

"Well that was certainly interesting!" Pyrrha said happily clapping her hands together. "Ren I believe it is your turn to read a portion of the list?"


	4. Ren

"Yes." Ren picked up the list as if he was afraid it would turn into a Grimm and start attacking him.

**61\. Ren is not allowed to sneak his teammates into the kitchen.**

The next time a staff member catches you. Detention. For a year.

_"So we just can't get caught!" Nora laughed._

_"I don't think that's what she meant Nora." Pyrrha sighed._

**62\. Ren is not allowed to help Nora capture Grimm to keep as pets.**

**63\. Ren is not allowed to help Yang create an underground gambling ring.**

_Jaune and Pyrrha looked at Ren in surprise while Nora just laughed. "What?" He asked, completely unphased, "Yang offered me forty percent of all earnings if we got it off the ground."_

**64\. Ren is not allowed to start his OWN gambling ring.**

_The 'look' again. "I have a great poker face."_

**65\. Ren is not allowed to convince incoming students that it is a good idea to call miss Schnee the 'Ice Queen'**

Are you trying to get them killed?

**66\. Ren is not allowed to plot with miss Belladonna.**

**67\. Lie Ren is not allowed to create intense multi-level pranks that take weeks to clean up!**

We may not be able to prove it was you but we know it was.

**68\. Ren is not allowed to give Nora caffeine of any variety.**

**69\. After multiple citizens reported this, Lie Ren is not allowed to go into the City of Vale cause mental chaos and then claim it was for a class assignment.**

_Ren sighed, "Ahh. Good times."_

_"I am now so much more afraid of you than I was before." Jaune said while shaking his head._

**70\. Just because you think the teachers are drinking too much coffee, DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO HIDE ALL THE COFFEE AND REPLACE IT WITH NON-CAFFEINATED TEA!**

Never. Do. That. Again.

**71\. Ren is forbidden from entering the teachers' lounge.**

**72\. Ren is not allowed to fill a large pamphlet with wild and untrue facts and call it, 'How to Survive Your Stay at Beacon Academy'**

_"So **that's** what you were doing with so much paper!" Nora shouted happily._

**73\. Ren is not allowed to pass out these pamphlets to students arriving for the Vytal Festival.**

**74\. Lie Ren is not allowed to challenge Cardin Winchester to a battle of wits**

His ego is fragile enough as it is.

**75. ~~Or any other type of battle!~~**

We have discussed this before Mr. Winchester.

**76\. Stop helping Blake trick other students with her shadow clones!**

**77\. Stop calling Professor Ozpin Young Dumbledore!**

_"Am I wrong though."_

**78\. Ren is no longer allowed to convince other students to call Professor Ozpin Young Dumbledore.**

**79\. Ren is not allowed to meditate for more than three hours a day.**

Any longer and we will send in Team RWBY.

**80\. Ren is not allowed to shove Pyrrha and Jaune into a locker and then send it off.**

I don't care _how_ much you want them to confess already. It is not ethical.

"Wait... That was you! I thought it was Cardin again and he just caught Pyrrha too!" Jaune shouted

"And what does she mean confess?!" Pyrrha added slightly panicked with a full blush. "There is nothing for us to confess!"

"Hmmm. If you say so Pyrrha." Ren said, "We should probably read this last part and then go to class."


	5. JNPR

Jaune and Pyrrha gave Ren the stink eye while both their faces turned cherry red.

"Woo! Let's go!" Nora added.

**81\. Team JNPR is not allowed to throw Nora at every problem.**

I don't care how much chaos and fear she is able to strike into the hearts of your enemies. Stop.

**82\. Team JNPR is not allowed to cover for Team RWBY when they decide to sneak out.**

**83\. Team JNPR is not allowed to distract the teachers so that Team RWBY is able to sneak out.**

_"We're just doing what any good friends would do." Nora shrugged._

_Pyrrha nodded along, "I agree. But I believe the teachers would prefer it if we told them about them sneaking out instead of hiding it."_

_"Where's the fun in that?"_

**84\. Team JNPR is not allowed inside the library for more than twenty minutes at a time.**

**85\. NO MORE FOOD FIGHTS WITH TEAM RWBY!**

I will personally watch over every. single. one. of your detentions until you graduate should this happen again.

**86\. Team JNPR is not allowed to be paired with Team CRDL in anything other than _battle simulations_.**

**87\. Team JNPR is not allowed to race Team RWBY.**

**88. ~~Team JNPR is not allowed to interact with Team RWBY.~~**

After heavy consideration from faculty, parents, the student body, and citizens of Vale we have come to realize the implementation of this rule would be impossible.

**89\. Team JNPR is forbidden from switching Ruby Rose with Lie Ren to see how long it will take for the faculty to notice.**

**90\. No tackling transfer students.**

_"I still say that that Emerald girl is trouble!" Nora complained while leaning against Ren._

_"She and her team do give off a very strange presence," Ren added._

**91\. Team JNPR is not allowed inside the Forever Fall Forest without proper supervision.**

**92\. Team JNPR is not allowed to sneak off school grounds to help Team RWBY after they have snuck off school grounds.**

**93\. Team JNPR is forbidden to start another debate over who would win in a fight between Miss Rose and Miss Valkyrie versus Miss Xiao Long and Miss Nikos.**

**94\. Nor are they allowed to actually create this fight!**

**95\. No member of Team JNPR is allowed to give motivational speeches to anyone.**

It doesn't help.

**96\. Team JNPR is not allowed to hoard Dust to help Team RWBY sneak away.**

**97\. Team JNPR is not allowed to enlist the help of Team RWBY to help them mess with people.**

**98\. Team JNPR is forbidden from starting another prank war!**

The psychological damage alone was nearly enough to convince Headmaster Ozpin to retire!

_They all snickered at the memories._

**99\. Team JNPR is not allowed to call Nora their personal lightning goblin.**

_"But I am!~" Nora sang happily._

**100\. Team JNPR is not allowed to help Team RWBY start a full-on war with a multi-national criminal organization before they finish their first year!**

"That's not even remotely accurate!" Jaune complained, "We did more than just _help_!" Pyrrha patted his back sympathetically.

Before anyone could say anything else from across the hallway came, "WE'RE LATE FOR CLASS!" causing the four members of Team JNPR to realize they were too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY COMPLETE! Next up is Team CRDL! Theirs is going to be a little different because we really only know the personality of Cardin.


End file.
